Northern Ethiopia to Bangkok in under 36 hours. Less time than it would have taken us just to get back to Addis by bus from up North. But we lamed out (wizened up?) and bought a local flight to connect with our international one from Addis. The flea infestation was what did it: over 100 bites along my waistline alone. Apparently I'm yummy.
So I'm sipping a real Slurpee from an actual real fucking 7-11 (not a knock-off called '7-10', or 'Sleven=Elevn' or something.) and feeling hopelessly slow and stupid compared to the speed of this broadband connection; the shiny new computer keeps looking at me and going "Holy shit you need to upgrade something, man." And I'm like "Be quiet asshole, I feed wild hyenas from my mouth."
The tourists have me all culture-shocked. More muzungo's (but we're not called that here, are we?) on a single street than we saw in almost four months in Africa. No AK's. No goats. Did I mention the money in Ethiopia reeks of goat? My new religion bans goats. The Muslims got it all wrong; I would much rather frolic in the muck with a posse of fat, squealing swine than smell goat all day. Stinking, cloven-hooved creepy little bastards.
I've also decided that, in keeping with the pseudo-hippy vibe of this place, I'm too fucking lazy to write much about Ethiopia at the moment. So I'll post photos and add captions as my current attention span permits. What's really on my mind is this: who invented the dreadlock? Was it the Indian sadhus whose tradition goes back over three thousand years , or ancient African sorcerers and medicine men? And further: what's up with this (predominantly Israeli) adaptation wherein one shaves one's head but leaves a single, terribly lonesome little dreadlock hanging out the back like a rat-tail? Is that some kind of sign of post-military service penance...like you have to leave one shameful little dreadlock for every Palestinian teenager you've skinned? Just curious.
I'm waiting for the virus scan to finish before I plug in my memory card. If I don't, I risk contracting some horrible virus that will wipe out eleven months of travel, like what Costco did when we tried to have them develop our Cuba photos: "What do you mean they've vanished!? I'm not paying you to lose all my photos, I'm paying you to develop them!" But they were, like personal hygiene on a pseudo-hippy, gone.
I'm happy I worry more about digital viruses than physical ones...
Ok here we go. Starting with our four-day 85km Simien Mountain trek and moving chronologically backwards to the first town on the Northern Historical Circuit, Bahar Dar.
Baboons in the Simien Mountains. If you've seen the nature series 'Planet Earth' you've seen these baboons. They nest on the face of the escarpment at night and come out daily to forage.
There are many ways to trek in the Simiens, the most popular being the all-inclusive 'hire someone else to carry and cook for you'. We went cheap, carried our own shit and cooked our own food, but a scout (the dude with the AK) is mandatory and we hired a guide to help with translation. The guy with the horse is a local tagging along.
The escarpment. The first natural sight in Africa that wasn't underwhelming compared to what I've seen back home.
Waterfall. Not bad.
Fields of the local grain tef grow right up to the edge of the precipice.
Lovely local village along the way. Surprisingly, this is a Muslim village in a predominantly Orthodox Christian region. The idiotic Ethiopian Park Service has decided to relocate the villagers within the park. Their reason for this, of course, is 'environmental preservation'...which is ridiculous, because the village above is more than five centuries old, pastoral, and totally sustainable in the original sense of the word.Relocation in a resource-scarce region inevitably leads to hardship and conflict among villagers. And who do you think is really creating the largest environmental impact currently? Could it be the 20-plus person tourist groups with their teams of donkeys, porters, guides and SUV support along the road to carry such essentials as deck chairs, wine, portable showers, etc? And what could really be motivating the parks service to relocate entire villages? Could it be the fat (and soon to be much fatter, as in on par with Kenya) entry fees charged to foreigners?
The idea of 'untouched wilderness' in the Western sense doesn't exist in Africa, or anywhere else outside North America I've travelled. There are agrarian communities everywhere, and almost all land is populated, even if sparsely as in Northern Kenya and Ethiopia. Relocation occurs when local bureaucracies like the park service get it in their heads that 'empty wilderness' is the sort of outdoor experience Westerners expect.
Lovely trekking.
Day at about 4000m in the highlands.
Us.
Our scout with his gun. He waved it around to scare away the begging children. I'm serious.
View.
Giant lobelias.
Our guide and our tent.
Thick-billed raven. We also saw the massive and beautiful Lammergeyer.
October is the perfect time to visit the Simiens: after the rainy season, still cool (as in 3-5C at night), and wildflowers in full bloom.
Day chillin'.
'Red hot poker' flowers.
Fields of Meskel flowers lower in the valley.
These guys have a shitty job. At higher elevations the villagers cultivate eucalyptus tree plantations. The trees are cut when they're around four inches thick and are carried to the road, where they are driven to construction sights to be used for scaffolding.
Angels on the five hundred year old roof mural in the island monastery of Ura Kidane Meet in the town of Bahir Dar.
Byzantine-influenced Ethiopian Orthodox Christian iconography: circular faces; no perspective; what some call 'cartoonish' visuals.
Nun. Look carefully and you'll notice her elaborate neck tattoos.
Woman at prayer in a grove outside the church.
Inside a typical Northern Ethiopian supermarket.
Due to their Semitic history Orthodox Ethiopians have fasting and food restrictions: Wednesday and Friday, no meat. This is the vegetarian fasting platter, one of our favourite dishes and much preferable to goat.
The ruins in the town of Gondar, Africa's so-called "Camelot". Don't know, I've never been to Camelot, (!) but cool regardless.
Like fresh coffee? You'll like Ethiopia. Coffee drinking is culturally ritualized, like tea is for Muslims. It's a social ceremony that begins with roasting fresh green coffee beans over a clay charcoal burner.
Smells good eh?
Flowers and incense are burned as offerings before the first cup is served.
Monk with centuries-old illustrated Bible.
Nun and little one.
Coptic Christian crosses (called 'short-armed' crosses) are abstracted into a variety of star patterns.
Jolly monk.
Not jolly sinner getting decapitated. The interiors of churches and monateries are entirely painted in murals that act as didactic storyboards for an illiterate population (85% of Ethiopians can't read).
Folks burning in Hell.
Doorway to the sanctum sanctorum, the sacred inner space which only the monks can enter. Inside, every church has a talisman shaped to resemble to Ark of the Covenant. It is the presence of this artefact that makes an Ethiopian church holy for believers.
Mary and Jesus, here white...but in many churches it was common to see a dark-skinned Mary and a little black baby Jesus. Cool.
Wierd clay offerings capped the villagers homes.
A woman waits for theferry to take her town where she will sell her bundles of collected firewood. Deforestation is a huge problem all over Eastern Africa because most people still cook with charcoal.
Man navigating his papyrus canoe.
